Whenever I try to say the things I need to say, it doesn’t come out right or you cut me off or it all gets messed up. I know you don’t owe me anything, but I’m asking you to read all of this. Then you can tear this letter up, burn it, whatever. Just hear me out first.
I know you’ve been hurt. I know I’ve done a lot of the hurting, and I’m so sorry for that. It took me a long time to accept how I felt about you—not because I didn’t feel things, but because I felt them too much. It’s like you said that first night we met, that night I couldn’t remember: my feelings for you consumed me. They hurt and were too much, so I pretended I didn’t have them. I pretended to be happy when I went back to Stefan, all the while looking over my shoulder at you. I knew I needed you, but I wasn’t ready to accept just how deeply those feelings went. I was scared and I was selfish, and I hope you can forgive me.
I wasn’t ready to accept what I felt then, but I am now. You think I don’t know the real you, that I’ve got some idealized vision in my head. That’s crap, Damon. I know you aren’t perfect by a long shot. I know you’re a dick, I know you have a terrible temper, I know you’ve slept with almost every girl in Mystic Falls.I know all that, and I want you anyway. I want you because I know you love all of me—the parts that want to hurt people and drink blood, the parts of me that I don’t even like. I know you love me even when I don’t deserve it.
I want you because you make me laugh, because you’re the only person who could make me smile when I thought the world had ended. I want you because you’re brave and selfless, because you do what you think is right even when everyone thinks you’re wrong. I want you because you’re the kind of man who will sacrifice his happiness for his brother’s, the kind of man who will give a beautiful dream to a dying woman and never tell a soul, the kind of man who will stay with the girl who said she didn’t want him, just because she needs him.
I want you because you’re you, Damon. I can’t promise I will never leave; none of us can promise that. You know that better than anyone. But I can promise that as long as we’re together, I will do everything I can to make you happy. I think we really could be happy together, if we both try. And I want to try. I hope you’ll believe me; I hope you’ll believe you deserve to be happy. Because you do.
Even if you won’t let me say it out loud, I have to tell you this. I just need to say it once, and you just need to hear it. I love you, Damon. I hope that’s enough, because it’s all I have. I love you. And when you’re ready for me, I’ll be waiting for you.
[Pursuit, by CreepingMuse, Chapter 6]